First, you must obey the moral will of God as it is revealed in Scripture. If Scripture prohibits the action in question, you decision is easy: don’t do it. Likewise, if one of the options in your choice causes you to neglect something God specifically commands you to do, you are required to make the choice that will allow you to fulfill your biblical obligation.

For example, if God requires you to be an active part of a local church-Hebrews 10:25 indicates that He does—any decision that prohibits you from that is against God’s revealed will. In order to uphold God’s moral will in your decision making, ask yourself, “What does God’s Word say about it?” If it says anything, obey that (1 John 5:3). If it says nothing, you have freedom and do not need to fear missing God’s will or sinning against Him (Romans 14:2-6, 22).

Second, good decision making requires that you exercise biblical wisdom. Such wisdom comes from a diligent study of God’s Word, coupled with God’s generous provision. James encourages those who lack wisdom to “ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). To make wise decisions, you need to gather necessary information, consider all the options carefully, seek godly counsel, and then choose the option that seems the best rationally (Proverbs 2:1-11).

Finally, you need to consider your own desire. If the Bible is silent about your decision, and if one choice is not clearly wiser than the other, then do what you want. You have the freedom to do so, and God sovereignly works out His plan through your desires (Psalm 37:4; Philippians 2:13).

The above process presupposes that you are submitted to Christ and filled with the Spirit. Otherwise you won’t be able to make biblical decisions, as sin blinds your ability to understand and apply God’s Word to your life. However, if you do have a vital relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and are walking in the Spirit-as opposed to the flesh—you are free to make decisions so long as they don’t violate God’s revealed (moral) will. You shouldn’t be concerned that your decisions will somehow derail God’s sovereign will for you life, because He routinely works through your decisions to accomplish what He purposes.

There are two extremes to avoid in assessing the spiritual status of others.

On the one hand, you must realize that we are not ultimately the judge of anyone’s salvation, because you cannot see anyone’s heart. Only God can do that (1 Samuel 16:7). And people express their love for God and faith in Christ in different ways.

But on the other hand, you must hold firmly to the truth of God’s Word concerning salvation and not offer false assurance to people who may not be truly saved.

If you have a friend or loved one whose lifestyle seriously discredits his or her profession of faith, speak frankly to that person about your concerns. Certainly we have the Lord’s own warrant for that in Matthew 18:15-20. If you carefully and lovingly follow the steps Jesus outlined in that passage, you will soon know whether to treat the person as a brother or sister in Christ, or as “a Gentile and a tax-gatherer” (v. 17).

Either way, your attitude toward the person is not to be judgmental, but loving and compassionate.

The will of God is not meant to be a secret we must uncover. God wants us to understand His will far more than we want to understand it. He always makes His will clear to those who seek it with an obedient heart.

Most of the real problem areas in the question of God’s will are settled for us in Scripture. The Bible reveals that it is God’s will for all of us to be:

• Saved (1 Timothy 2:3-4; 2 Peter 3:9)
• Spirit-filled (Ephesians 5:17-18)
• Sanctified (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7)
• Submissive (1 Peter 2:13-15)
• Suffering ( Philippians 1:29; 2 Timothy 3:12)

If all those things are true in your life, you may do whatever you want. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” That means that if you are conforming to God’s will in all the five ways listed above, He will place in your heart desires that reflect His will. So do what you want to do!

First, learn to give thanks in all things. Paul had learned to give thanks in every circumstance and he exhorted all believers to do the same. Thankfulness is first of all a matter of obedience (1 Thess. 5:18; Eph. 5:18), but it is also a characteristic of a Spirit-filled believer (Eph. 5:18-20).

Second, learn to rest in God’s providence. If we truly know God, we know that He is unfolding His agenda and purpose in our lives. He has sovereignly determined each part of His plan for us so that we’ll be benefited and He’ll be glorified (cf. Rom. 8:28). We should not be surprised or ungrateful when we experience trials because we know that God sees perfectly the end result (cf. 1 Pet. 4:12-13).

Third, learn to be satisfied with little. Paul had learned to make the choice to be satisfied with little, and he knew it was important for others to learn to make that same choice. In 1 Timothy 6:6 Paul exhorted a young pastor with these words: “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.” Paul understood that covetousness and contentment are mutually exclusive.

Fourth, learn to live above life’s circumstances. That’s how Paul lived. In 2 Cor. 12:9-10 he wrote, “Most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Paul didn’t take pleasure in the pain itself, but in the power of Christ manifested through him in times of infirmity, reproach, persecution, and distress. We also should learn to take pleasure in the power of Christ in times of distress.

Fifth, learn to rely on God’s power and provision. The apostle Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”; and Jesus said He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5). Like Paul, we can learn to rely on Christ’s promise. He faithfully infuses every believer with His own strength and sustains them in their time of need until they receive provision from His hand (Eph. 3:16).

Finally, become preoccupied with the well-being of others. Paul summarized this mindset in Philippians 2:3-4, where he wrote: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

A self-centered man is a discontented man. But the soul of the generous man, the man who lives for the interests and benefit of others, will find blessing upon blessing in his life (see Prov. 11:24-5; 19:17; Luke 6:38; 2 Cor. 9:6).

First, though delivered from the dominion of sin, Christians still experience the effects of sin. The reality of suffering endures in a world tainted by sin. Even believers experience pain, disease, aging, and death, and we often fall victim to accidents or sinful acts of others. Those things are the common lot of all, and they all have a connection to sin.

But there is a second reason believers suffer—believers are one with Christ. In that union, God gave us the privilege of participating in the same kind of suffering Jesus endured—suffering for doing what is right. Consider what Peter said:

To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation. If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you (1 Peter 4:13-14; cf. Romans 8:18).

Suffering for righteousness sake is part of normal Christian living. Far from removing suffering, our salvation guarantees it. Scripture, in fact, tells us to expect trials: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12).

Thankfully, along with the promise of suffering, God promises us His presence and a lasting reward. And because of those precious truths, you can respond with hope—that’s a complete contrast to the despairing outlook that plagues the unbeliever.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Hebrews 13:5 reminds you that God will never desert you—”I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (KJV; cf. Matthew 28:20). You can rest assured that God is as near in the darkest suffering as He is in the brightest days of blessing.

The prophet Jeremiah wrote, “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). The New Living Translation says it this way: “The unfailing love of the LORD never ends!  Great is his faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day.” God’s compassion never runs out or grows old; it’s unceasing and continually renewed. No matter what suffering you may be experiencing, that truth is unchanging. 

First Corinthians 10:13 promises that “no temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.” You can endure because God has promised not to give you more than you can handle. He wants you to overcome and won’t allow you to face any temptation that will crush you under its weight.

All believers are imperfect and need discipline and training from their heavenly Father. God faithfully provides every true child of His with the sort of chastening that produces holiness. Hebrews 12:6 says, “For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.” That truth is not unique to the New Testament—Deuteronomy 8:5 says, “You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you.”

How should you respond to God’s chastening? With thankful submission that recognizes your loving heavenly Father is at work in you. Resolve not to despise or be discouraged by that work (Hebrews 12:5). God is pruning your life to make you more effective and fruitful. Jesus said, “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2).

God knows what you need and can handle, and He brings trials to prove your faith and display it to those around you. He has graciously chosen you to stand as an example of the power of His grace. His grace is “sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). In a world without hope, without peace, fearing death, and living in complete emptiness, your perseverance in trials is testimony that God is alive and gloriously at work.

Persevering in the midst of intense suffering provides a testimony of true hope to a world without hope. No matter the intensity of the trial you are facing, you always have the hope of heaven to cheer you. As one who believes in God and trusts His Word, treasure the truth that suffering and death are not worthy of comparison with the wondrous glory of knowing Christ. Paul affirmed that when he wrote, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

So, if you are going through a trial, pray that your spiritual condition will be gloriously evident to all around as you exemplify true joy in it (James 1:2-4, 12).

All of us struggle continually with sinful thoughts, sinful attitudes, sinful habits, and sinful desires. It is those who don’t struggle—those who deliberately and eagerly revel in their sin—who need to have their sense of security shaken. So don’t give up in defeat if you find yourself struggling with sin or even if you fall into it. Stay in the battle.

Fight sin by considering deeply what makes you more vulnerable to it, and then establish godly practices in its place. You may find you need to have accountability with a godly person you trust, or spend more time in prayer, or stay away from things that tempt you.

Do whatever it takes to discipline yourself and stop any pattern of sin before it gets started again. That is the key to staying away from sin—the constant, daily practice of thinking on the right things and not making provision for the flesh and its desires (Romans 13:14).

Is that your testimony? If so, we want to help you attain a biblical perspective by providing a few principles for you to reflect on. We trust these thoughts will bring you comfort and hope.

Yours Is a Common Experience

Feel left alone? Other believers have felt the same way. Peruse the writings of Oswald Chambers, Charles Spurgeon, and D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, and you’ll discover they knew well the agony you experience. Spurgeon wrote this autobiographical account in his comments on Psalm 88:6:

He who now feebly expounds these words knows within himself more than he would care or dare to tell of these abysses of inward anguish. He has sailed around the Cape of Storms, and has drifted along by the dreary headlands of despair.

After C. S. Lewis lost his wife to cancer, he called out to God for comfort but sensed no reply. Confused, he asked, “What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?”

But you don’t need a large library to know your experience is common. Just turn through the pages of your Bible, especially the Psalms, and you’ll read several distressed cries for God to act:

• Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am pining away; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are dismayed. And my soul is greatly dismayed; but You, O Lord—how long (Psalm 6:2-3)?
•  Will the Lord reject forever? And will He never be favorable again? Has His lovingkindness ceased forever? Has His promise come to an end forever? Has God forgotten to be gracious, or has He in anger withdrawn His compassion (Psalm 77:7-9)?
•  O God, do not remain quiet; do not be silent and, O God, do not be still (Psalm 83:1).

Psalm 22:1 contains perhaps the most well-known example, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.” Jesus echoed that psalm on the cross: “About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, ‘Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?’ that is, ‘My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?’” (Matthew 27:46).

A key passage in 1 Peter will help you appreciate that times of distress are common and are for the good of God’s children. Amid the rich details of God’s glorious grace, resides an affirmation that those who rejoice in their salvation will also experience distress due to various trials. Take special note of the second paragraph:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:3-7).

Take solace in knowing that sorrowful times—even periods of feeling God has withdrawn His presence—are an integral part of your spiritual experience. God hasn’t utterly abandoned you, though you feel He has. Other believers have successfully traveled the dark path you walk and completed their journey.

Peter acknowledges that trials produce grief in believers—and grief is a common experience. He also touches on two further principles that will help you understand and patiently endure your trouble:

Yours Is a Temporary Experience

Feeling distressed by trials—such as sensing the absence of God’s presence—would crush a weakened believer if it had no end. And so Peter adds that the distress is only “for a little while.” Your trouble is temporary. God will not leave you in your distress forever. It will cease—maybe not as soon as you’d like—but it will come to an end. Once the trial has served its purpose, you will benefit from its results and regain the joy of your heavenly Father’s warm embrace.

Yours Is a Purposed Experience

Peter anticipates your next question, “Why does a believer have to experience grief-producing trials?” He replies, “These have come so that your faith … may be proved genuine” (v. 7).

As one of God’s children, you are promised His presence, though for now you feel alone and without help. Rest in knowing God your Father has good reasons for bringing you into your trial. He is committed to making you holy, even if it means taking away your happiness for a time.

You will derive benefit from your trial, not by ignoring it or fainting under its weight, but by understanding its purpose. When you realize God is using the trial to make you aware of His grace in your life and fit you for eternal glory, praise, and honor, you’ll be equipped to endure it even though it brings you into distress and heaviness of soul.

Suffering in silence will also:

•  Make you more obedient (Psalm 119:67).
• Deepen your insight into God’s Word (Psalm 119:71).
• Increase your compassion and effectiveness in ministry (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
• Teach you to wait patiently on God (Psalm 27:14).
• Make your joy less dependent on circumstances (Habakkuk 3:16-19).
• Make you appreciate God all the more when He restores you (Job 42:7-17).

Allow those principles to mold your perspective. Learn to respond biblically and not emotionally to your trouble. Lean on the revealed character of God. He is allowing you to experience a temporary sorrow that will provide you with the greater benefits of increased holiness and deeper assurance (cf. Romans 8:18).

The Christian must see that bad habits are ultimately spiritual issues. We must not hesitate to call them sins. And we need to realize that the means of sanctification described in Scripture (chiefly the Word of God and prayer) are essential for overcoming such habits.

We are responsible for our own sin–including those sins “which so easily beset us.” The fact that we do something wrong habitually does not relieve us of responsibility. On the contrary, it may make the sin all the worse. So we must take personal responsibility for our own habits and not shrink from calling them sin.

Sinful habits are not insurmountable problems for the Christian. After all, the Holy Spirit indwells us and is working to conform us to the image of Christ. And if God be for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) Furthermore, Galatians 5:16 says that if we “walk by the Spirit, [we] will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” And 1 Corinthians 10:13 is a promise that God will not permit us to be tempted beyond our ability. If we make use of the resources provided by God through His Spirit and His Word, we can attack any habit knowing that we can win.

Let me make some practical suggestions for overcoming bad habits that I think you will find helpful.

First of all, remember that sin begins in the mind. James 1:14-15 compares a person falling into sin to a fish or animal that is caught with bait. It sees the bait, desires it, and is trapped in the process of grabbing it. Likewise, sins that ensnare us begin in the mind.

The person who steals first thinks about the thing he wants. He then thinks of a plan for getting it. After he has schemed in his mind, he takes it. He could have stopped the sin in his mind before it became completed in his action. That’s why Scripture commands us to renew our minds (Romans 12:2), to think about good things (Philippians 4:8), and to meditate on the Word (Psalm 1:2)

Defeating a habit also requires changes in lifestyle. We are to make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14). The person who wants to stop smoking should throw away all his cigarettes and not buy any more; the person struggling with sexual sin should get rid of any suggestive materials in his possession. Avoid the company of those who have the same problem (1 Corinthians 15:33), and avoid the places and circumstances which tempt you.

Finally, don’t try to battle a bad habit alone. Develop relationships with more mature Christians who will encourage and support you (Galatians 6:2). Spend time in prayer with them. Ask them to “check up on you” regularly, and be honest about your failures (James 5:16).

Biblical change is not just turning away from sin; it is turning toward righteousness. The person who lies must speak the truth (Ephesians 4:25). One who steals must not only stop stealing, he must work and give to others (verse 28); and one whose language is unwholesome must learn to edify others (verse 29). Do not just stop sinning—start doing what is right. The good habits you build will replace the sinful ones.

On the other side of the issue are people who confront over any slight infraction and make themselves intolerable. Are there any biblical principles to help us make the right choice? Yes! Here are six guidelines to help you know whether to forgive or confront.

Whenever possible, especially if the offense is petty or unintentional, it is best to forgive unilaterally. This is the very essence of a gracious spirit. It is the Christlike attitude called for in Ephesians 4:1-3. We are called to maintain a gracious tolerance (“forbearance”) of others’ faults. Believers should have a sort of mutual immunity to petty offenses. Love “is not easily angered” (1 Cor. 13:5, NIV). If every fault required formal confrontation, the whole of our church life would be spent confronting and resolving conflicts over petty annoyances. So for the sake of peace, to preserve the unity of the Spirit, we are to show tolerance whenever possible (see 1 Pet. 2:21-25; Mat. 5:39-40).

If you are the only injured party, even if the offense was public and flagrant, you may choose to forgive unilaterally. Examples of this abound in Scripture. Joseph (Genesis 37-50), David (2 Sam. 16:5-8), and Stephen (Acts 7:60) each demonstrated the unilateral forgiveness of Christ (Luke 23:34).

If you observe a serious offense that is a sin against someone other than you, confront the offender. Justice never permits a Christian to cover a sin against someone else. While we are entitled, and even encouraged, to overlook wrongs committed against us, Scripture everywhere forbids us to overlook wrongs committed against another (see Ex. 23:6; Deut. 16:20; Isa. 1:17; Isa. 59:15-16; Jer. 22:3; Lam. 3:35-36).

When ignoring an offense might hurt the offender, confront the guilty party. Sometimes choosing to overlook an offense might actually injure the offender. In such cases it is our duty to confront in love (Gal. 6:1-2).

When a sin is scandalous or otherwise potentially damaging to the body of Christ, the guilty party should be confronted. Some sins have the potential to defile many people, and Scripture gives ample warning of such dangers (see Heb. 12:15; 3:13; 1 Cor. 5:1-5). In fact, Scripture calls for the church to discipline individuals who refuse to repent of open sin in the body, so that the purity of the body might be preserved (Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 5).

Lastly, any time an offense results in a broken relationship, confrontation of the sinner should occur. Any offense that causes a breach in relationships simply cannot be overlooked. Both the offense and the breach must be confronted, and reconciliation must be sought. And both the offended party and the offender have a responsibility to seek reconciliation (Luke 17:3; Matt. 5:23-24). There is never any excuse for a Christian on either side of a broken relationship to refuse to pursue reconciliation.

The only instance where such a conflict should remain unresolved is if all the steps of discipline in Matthew 18 have been exhausted and the guilty party still refuses to repent.

The Bible not only instructs us how to think; it also informs our emotions and helps us gain a comforting perspective. And of all of the books in the Bible, the book of Psalms is perfectly suited for times of trouble. In the Psalms you can identify with the psalmist as he expresses his deepest distress, and learn along with him as God teaches him how to view things from His perspective. Viewing things from God’s vantage point—that is true comfort.

May you find comfort as you read these “psalms for the anxious,” excerpted from John MacArthur’s book Anxiety Attacked (all Scripture quotations are from the NAS, except where noted; emphasis added).

Psalm 3:

You are a shield around me, O Lord, my Glorious One, who lifts up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud and He answers me from His holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear … Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God! (vv. 3–7, NIV)

Psalm 4:

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! Thou hast relieved me in my distress; be gracious to me and hear my prayer. But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself; the Lord hears when I call to Him. Tremble, and do not sin; meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the Lord. Many are saying, ‘Who will show us any good?’ Lift up the light of Thy countenance upon us, O Lord! Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety (vv. 1, 3–8).

Psalm 5:

Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto Thee will I pray. My voice shalt Thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto Thee, and will look up … Let all those that put their trust in Thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because Thou defendest them: let them also that love Thy name be joyful in Thee. For Thou, Lord, wilt bless the righteous; with favor wilt Thou compass him as with a shield (vv. 1–4, 11–12, KJV).

Psalm 6:

No, Lord! Don’t punish me in the heat of Your anger. Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom. Oh, restore me soon … I am worn out with pain; every night my pillow is wet with tears. My eyes are growing old and dim with grief … Go, leave me now, you men of evil deeds, for the Lord has heard my weeping and my pleading. He will answer all my prayers (vv. 1–3, 6–9, TLB).

Psalm 7:

O Lord my God, I take refuge in You; save and deliver me…my shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart … I will give thanks to the Lord because of His righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High” (vv. 1, 10, 17, NIV).